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Johnny Novak

Yes, it's my real name

Monthly Archives: October 2013

How many times have you heard someone say that? How times have you wanted to slap that person? “I like all music, except country and rap” is the verbal equivalent of posting a picture that starts with the words “Keep Calm…”. Rap and country music are the two hottest genres of music right now. In the past week, I’ve attended a country concert and a rap concert.

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And they’re two of the best shows I’ve seen.

Here’s why: now country and rap aren’t my favourite genres (I’m more of an R&B/Soul kind of guy*) but if there’s a major country or rap star playing a show in your area, go! They are one of the best places for people watching. The amount of amazing stuff that happens at these shows is unbelievable.

A country show is the only place where you will see an intoxicated grown man run across a stage dressed like a cowboy (outside of halloween) and then get hauled off like a flailing wild animal. I hate to say it but country shows are way better than rock shows. When you go to a rock show these days, all you get is an aging musician lecturing you about the dangers of fracking and an old guy telling you to sit down.

At the Drake concert I saw one of the grossest things ever. Now it’s common knowledge that men tend to not wash their hands after going to the washroom. The young bro-like gentleman standing at the sink next to me in the washroom of the Canadian Tire Centre did in fact wash his hands, but things went horribly wrong during the drying process. The paper towel dispenser was out of paper towels. Most guys would dry their hands off with a “jazz hands” technique but this guy was too much of a man for broadway theatrics. He reached into the garbage pulled out a used paper towel, dried his Β hands off and put the paper towel back in the garbage. Drying your hands on the inside of your underpants would have been a more sanitary option. At least the germs are yours.

Now that’s something you will never see at a rock concert.

@JohnnyNovak

*Miguel opened up for Drake and that dude has some Marvin Gaye level panty peeler slow jams. Look him up, he’s going to be big.

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Here’s where you can see me perform this month:

Tuesday October 8th Connor’s Gaelic Pub, Ottawa
Tuesday October 15th Connor’s Gaelic Pub, Ottawa (I’m hosting the show!)
Wednesday October 16th Absolute Comedy, Ottawa
Saturday October 19th Ballygiblin’s, Carleton Place
Wednesday October 23rd Yuk Yuk’s Elgin Street, Ottawa

For info on last minute shows, follow me on Twitter: @JohnnyNovak.